ODE: On Watching the PTL Club and Others

Copyright © 1987 Dean Crocker All Rights Reserved

There’s a lot of preachers tellin’ us how to live
With stern admonitions of just how much to give.
We find these T.V. preachers very negative
Because they obviously all have minds — just like a sieve.

They got the kind of message that really makes us sick.
They preach against the Masons, and the Catholics,
And the Jews, and Muslims, and us heretics.
Now they’re trying to master — our politics.

CHORUS:
We all will bitch and moan if they get their way,
But it won’t do no good; we won’t get away.
Choices in religion will become déclassé
When churches rule the world.

In the middle ages, we fought in the Crusades.
Churches fighting churches. No one was dismayed.
God was on our side then: Think how much we prayed.
Many centuries later — we were repaid.

There is blood in Ireland and the Holy Land.
It is spreading daily; is this what God planned?
People killing people all at God’s command?
We think all the churches - should just disband.

CHORUS:
The U.S.A. they say is the land of the free
And ev’ry person can control their own destiny.
It’s all a myth! The PREACHER’S won’t have liberty
When Churches rule the world.

PATTER CHORUS:
Now once I knew a Methodist
Who seemed to be a Pacifist
And tried to teach me Socialist ideals;
Then he became an Atheist
(A non-religion Specialist),
Our talks became a Terrorist ordeal.
He taught me Communist technique–
We never went to Holy Week
Before the sacred Priest-comique to kneel.
Then I discovered GOD unique!
One day into my mind He sneaked
And told me I must write this meek singspiel.

There’s a lot of Preachers tellin’ us how to live.
I watch them on T.V. as a sedative.
Although they make me sleepy, they’re a bunch of [expletive]:
I find them all increasingly — hard to forgive.

They want to Rule your Body; They want to Rule your Voice.
When they say, “You’re all SINNERS!” They want a new Rolls-Royce.
They want their stinking “thinking” to be your only choice–
Wake up! Or on your own petard — you will be hoist.

CHORUS:
Don’t be swept up by Churches’ base prejudice--
That would be dumb and display great cowardice.
It will be better to be OWNED BY BEATRICE
When Churches rule the world.

Give ev’ry man his philosophical bent!
That is our glorious country’s basic blueprint.
I hope you figure out what this song has meant
Before They rule the world.
Before They rule the world.